Dead

I haven't been updating this blog much, have I? My virtual world is actually almost non existant at the moment. I've been spending major time away from Second Life because Lyne's computer is in the shop getting fixed. Just a few days after we dropped off her computer, they closed for renovations without telling us prior. She will only get her computer back in a week or two from now. And, I let her use mine.

Being away from the virtual world has made me realize just how much time and energy I used to put on there and all for a reason... I am lonely in my real life and I don't have affection. I can go days without anyone touching me as much as sliding their hands on my arm even if I live with my best friend, my mother and my brother.

I'm not in a good state of mind right now, though. I have several emotions running through my mind. I'm scared to giving my heart away again because I did give it to someone before and .... just fuck it. It'snot worth going there again. I'm dead to him now and so, I best make him dead to me too. So, I don't talk about it. The only thing that keeps me going right now, though, is the thought of meeting James for real but I'm terrified that it'll never happen and my heart will be shattered to a million pieces.

~Vasanti~